she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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