if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
