FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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