epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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