I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
