what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Help. Why am I so naked?
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