my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
