Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
