chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
