question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
