Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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