Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
