I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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