I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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