I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
