About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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