Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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