I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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