do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
