My hand turned me down
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
