Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
