honey bunches of taint.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
