he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
