Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
