I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
