I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
