Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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