it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
As shirtless as possible
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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