Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
so much tequila, so little girl.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
