I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Randomize
