real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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