I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
