i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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