Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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