just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
