I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
