Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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