covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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