if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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