I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize