I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
