Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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