M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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