You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
