If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
