just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
my shit smells like andre
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
