Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize