does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Can I color on your dick again?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
