just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
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No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
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WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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