Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
