Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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