she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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