i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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