At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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