I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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