He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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