so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
