It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
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