My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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