4 words: hood of his car
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
